Merry Christmas from the manger!

Can you believe it?

Today Marshall and I celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary!  And to be honest...it tickles my soul just to be able to say that!  God has blessed me with the most wonderful man, and I am so grateful to Marshall for being the husband I have always imagined.  He is so very good to me, and I love him greatly for it.  What can I say...he truly is my best friend.  Our marriage has changed and matured so much over the years.  I respect Marshall for the man that he is, and for all that he has been through.  I look forward to the years to come, and hope that the next 10 are as fun and full as the first 10 have been. Here are a few picture memories from that day!

At a recent funeral I saw on old college friend and when she saw Marshall and I she said..."so, you guys are still together huh?!"  We all just laughed!  I just LOVE her honesty!  With the circumstances as they were when we got married, I think plenty of people thought we might not make it.  But, praise the Lord, so far we have.  God is good and He has really taken care of us and our marriage over the last 10 years.  Marshall and I made a commitment to each other at the altar that day that we take very seriously.  Early on in our marriage we committed to each other to never talk or use the word "divorce".  For us it simply is not an option.  We never threaten it in an arguement, or throw that term around when we are angry.  We respect each other, and the decision we made to be ONE...forever.

Today...November 27

It is the day after Thanksgiving, and if I were being honest, I would tell you that it has been a very difficult and emotional day for me. Today on the way back from having a wonderful time in Tennessee with my family for Thanksgiving, I stopped in Hixson, TN to watch an old college friend be buried in the ground.

A precious friend from Berry College died last Saturday after being sick for 2 years. It was shocking and sudden...very sad for all who knew her.  Her name is Tabitha.   She was a music major with the most amazing singing voice.  She was only 31 years old when she died.  The wife of an adoring husband Justin(also a music major at Berry), and an amazing mother of two young children, Malachi who is 7 and MaryRuth who is 4.   

Tabitha had the type of personality that people were drawn to.  Not only was she extremely fun to be around, but she had a way of making everyone around her feel comfortable and accepted.  She was brutally honest, a characteristic I loved so much about her.  Our friendship started during our early years at Berry when we were neighbors on the same hall in the dorm.  By our senior year we lived in the same house with a total of 6 girls.  Tabitha was the one who was with me when I found out I was pregnant with Payton, and as we lived together that first semester of our senior year, she took care of me and my growing belly, often rubbing lotion on my tummy...trying to help minimize the stretch marks.

Yes, Tabitha was a dear friend to me, and in our years since Berry we have kept in touch.  Even though we would only talk maybe every 6 months or so, each time I spoke with her it would be as if I had just spoken with her the day before.  She would always make me laugh with her honesty about life and what was going on with her.  I always enjoyed our chats, and would see her from time to time as the years passed. 

I regret to say that I have not seen or talked to Tabitha in a while.  The last time we spoke on the phone was well over a year ago.  Odell had died, and Tabitha had already been sick once and was in remission.  Things for her were looking good.  I remember we had a hard, serious talk.  She talked about the reality of being sick and how scary that is.  I talked about grief and the reality of loosing a child.  We were honest with each other about our feelings, emotions and hardships.  We shared book titles of books we were reading that were helping us cope.  Then we laughed as we realized that a few short years ago (in college), this certainly is not the way that we thought our lives would go.   And that is the last time I spoke with her...if only I had known.

Tabitha and Justin our senior year.  They had just gotten engaged.

Tabitha and I our senior year at a wedding shower they gave me

Tabitha, Justin and I (and Payton) at graduation

Payton was born a week later

Tabitha and I

Tabitha and I before one of her performances

Burying a friend or loved one is hard any day of the year.  But this wasn't just any day for me.  Today, November 27th, is the day that Odell died, just 3 years ago.  So needless to say, for much of the Thanksgiving holiday and especially today...I have NOT been ok.  Tabitha's death has released in me a whole new wave and flood of emotion and grief that was just waiting to come out.  I have done a lot of healing in the last 3 years, but the raw pain and ache of grief is so familiar to me, that is comes back easily.  My heart aches for Justin and his children.  I know the dark days he will have to walk through before he starts to see the light.  All day there has been a pain in the pit of my stomach for both the loss of Tabitha and the loss of Odell.  I am reminded of how we just don't understand the why's of this life. 

This has been an angry year for me.  Since Odell's death God has often given me peace that passes understanding.  He has been my strength in times of great weakness.  I have been able to focus on Odell being out of pain and healed, and in heaven!  What mother would not want that for her child.  But this year I am more focused on the fact that I WANT HIM HERE!  I miss him terribly!  I should have a 3 year old running around right now!  Three years later the empty place is still here, and I still don't have him back.  Not that I thought he was coming back...but I am still mad that he is not here in my arms.  And I am mad that Tabitha's gone.  She was truly the salt of the earth.  Why her?  Why him?

So what's the point of all this?

Tend to your relationships and friendships...TODAY.  Oh to talk to Tabitha just one more time.  To hold my son for just a few more minutes.  If I could only go back for even a moment.  Don't put it off for another day.  It had been on my "to do" list for months...Call Tabitha.  Why didn't I take the time to do it?!  Take nothing for granted.  One sentence can change your life forever. 

How well do you know me...

So here I am again...haven't blogged in 2 months! I really must get better at this blogging thing. I always seem to be behind. Yes, I have lots to catch up on, for if you know me well, then you know we have done some fun and exciting things since I last blogged about going to Amelia Island. Yes, I certainly need to catch up on some things, but no time for that now...packing to go to Tennessee for Thanksgiving!

However, I do want to share one special picture...

And if you know me well...then you will know who this is and what is means to me!

Wonderful Walt Disney World!

During fall break, we spent a long weekend in DISNEY WORLD! It was a magical trip, and we were joined by Brooke, Russ and my parents. We did as much as we could in the 3 days we were there, and we look forward to being able to go back one day.

About 30 days before our trip, the kids and I made a paper chain so that we could count down the days until we would leave for Disney.  Here they are with the paper chain...

Here they are on departure day...with the very last paper chain link.  Do you think they look excited?

The trip was truly amazing.  As neat and cool as we ever thought it would be.  We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and were able to see animals from our balcony.  The only complaint would be the HEAT!  We thought this wouldn't be a problem in October...but we were wrong.  While we were there we experienced record highs for that time of year (in the high 90's).  It practically melted us all, but with lots of bottled water and ice cream, we suffered through it and had a fabulous time.  I won't bore you with every detail, but I will share some fun pictures.  I think the expressions on the kid's faces says it all.  Oh, and since we went in October, the whole park was decorated for Halloween, and the kids got to wear their costumes to the Not So Scary Halloween Party in the Magic Kingdom one night. 

Amelia Island, Florida

Over Labor Day weekend the kids and I went to Amelia Island for a last beach trip for the summer. Unfortunately Marshall did not get to go with us, but my parents, Brooke and Russ did! A fun time was had by all.

One morning while Elijah went to the bait store with Russ, Payton and I found LOTS of shells on the beach, and collected about 380 of them (yes, we counted).



Brooke and Elijah eating breakfast before the fishing began

Memaw and Payton

After getting the bait, Elijah and Russ caught this fish!

The kids were super excited to go crabbing, and this is them upon return with their catch!
These were our two captives from the crabbing adventure.

Thanks Memaw and Papaw for taking us to the beach!

Rainy Day

Today it has rained all day! So Eli played in the puddles and ended up riding his scooter through them. Fun!

The First Day of 4th Grade!!

Payton started the 4th grade today. She loves her teacher and is excited about the new year. We are so thankful that she is able to go to such an amazing school!

A Few More Summer Highlights

As I have looked back over our summer pictures, I realize that there are a few more things we did this summer that I would like to share with you.

Let's see...where to start?

At the end of the school year Payton expressed to us that she wanted to "redo" her room. She was ready to change the color scheme, paint on the walls, bedspread, the whole shebang, and we said YES! Last year when Payton was in the 3rd grade, she not only made straight A's the entire year, but she also made straight E's in conduct the whole year. We felt like this was certainly a good way to reward her for her excellence! The end result is awesome! She did a great job choosing her bedspread, paint color and all.



She wanted a new desk in her room for studying and doing homework since she is in the 4th grade now and has heard that her work load will be harder this year. We found this fun vintage table painted lime green on top that perfectly matches her bedspread. Obviously we have not gotten a white chair yet :)




Payton had the opportunity to meet pro surfer Bethany Hamilton this year. Payton has read her book and really looks up to her. So below is a framed picture of her and Bethany along with a poster that she autographed for Payton.

What else did we do?...

One day when cleaning out cabinets in the kitchen, I found a few left over party supplies from Eli's first birthday. So I gave it all to him and he had an impromptu "birthday party" with his stuffed animals. Pretty cute.

The kids have been asking to do the new Sky Hike at Stone Mountain, so we finally decided to do it! Eli was just tall enough to do the actual "sky hike" so the whole family participated and had a surprisingly great time. It was fun because it pushed everyone's limits a little bit. Even Marshall and I. The kids did amazing though. Elijah really surprised me, and Payton went on to complete levels 2 and 3 with Marshall while Eli and I played on the younger kids obstacle course/playground area. The kids also both got to experience rock climbing for the first time. Eli made it about half way.

Payton on the other hand scaled up quickly and was the first to reach the top, beating 3 boys. Not bad for a first time rock climber!


Launching onto the double zip line. They LOVED the zip line.

On top of the mountain!

Confessions

As the summer is winding down, I have been thinking and reflecting as I wonder...where did the summer go? What did I do this summer? Why is there still such a long list of things that I had hoped to do this summer but did not seem to get to?

And that is when I remembered...

If you know anything about my son Eli, then you already know that he is my strong willed child. I spend a lot of time trying to figure him out, why he act the way he does, and what form of discipline will work with him. I TRY to stay one step ahead of him if at all possible. Most discipline does not work on him. He simply does not care. He wants what he wants and he thinks that the world revolves around him and he should get what he wants. He does not like to hear the answer no, and he is quick to whine and pout and pitch a fit in an attempt to get his way. He is very rough and tumble, and as he likes to say, he loves to "tussell." He is also very witty, often saying funny things and one liners that leave us wondering...where does he come up with this? Oh yes, I could talk about Eli all day. He has dimples that give him a most charming and irresistable smile, but he is such a stinker! He treats his sister terrible most of them time, and by Payton's account he is a pesky, mean, little brother. But what does all of this have to do with my summer ambition?

Well, this is where the confession comes in. Let me first say that I am in no way proud or happy about what I am about to tell (or confess to) you.

Marshall's mom gave us a much appreciated break from the kids recently, and kept them all day and through the night. In the late afternoon she took the kids swimming. Apparantly it was time to go, and she had already told Elijah a few times that is was time to go and he was running away from her at the pool. She finally caught up to him and again reminded him that it was time to go home to which he promptly turned around, looked straight at his Memaw and said "Shut up!"

Yes, you read that correctly....SHUT UP! Of course Marshall and I were not there to do one of the various things that immediately came to our minds upon hearing this a) smack him in the mouth b) wash his mouth out with soap c) spank him d) all of the above....etc, etc, you get my gist.

To be honest, Marshall and I were devastated. Embarrased. Confused. We don't talk like that in our house. What would ever make Eli think that he should say that word at all? Especially to his grandmother!!! This was pretty much the grand finale that caused us to make some pretty drastic changes around here. As Marshall and I talked through it and tried to figure out where all this was coming from, we had some harsh realizations.

So, much of our time and effort this summer has gone to enforcing the new rules around here. Eli has had a reality check these last few weeks. A much needed one! And I am happy to report that so far it seems to be working. I am certainly not saying he is the perfect child now. That strong will is still there all the time. But I do feel that we are gaining some control over his actions, because we are controlling the things that matter most to him.

This is an old picture when Eli had his mohawk. This is our dog Maya.

An added funny story about Elijah...

Recently I said to Eli - "Your epidermis is showing!" Of course he asked and asked what epidermis was, and then I finally told him and explained it to him. Bad move on my part apparently. Now it is his favorite thing to go up to everyone and say it, only he does not say it exactly right. In fact, he says "Your penis is showing!" And no matter how many times I have corrected him and he says it the right way, he always gets it wrong the next time. Whoops. Guess I need to be careful what I teach him.

This is proof that he CAN be sweet when he chooses to!